Why Not All Lucky Charms Are Magically Delicious
A heads-up penny. A four-leaf clover. A shooting star. A rabbit’s foot. A ladybug. The number seven. A buckeye nut. A positive fortune cookie. A thumbs up. A horseshoe. A wishing well. Maxing out a credit card. Sending the bill to the 110th United States Congress.
All signs of good luck.
All of which are as effective as Uri Geller is at spoon-bending.
I consider myself somewhat pragmatic. I might also say that I’m an iconoclast. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that I am an unbelieving, skeptical realist. That having been said though, I’m also paradoxically superstitious, have my own ‘lucky’ rituals, and have faith in things that may or may not exist. In other words, I’m just like most Americans.
In other words, I’m an idiot.
From the athlete who wears special gym socks while playing the state championship, to the stockbroker who keeps a pocketed talisman while working the wall street, to the truck driver who always plays the same numbers in the lottery, to the casanova who wears the same underwear to get laid (gross); many people have their own ritual or amulet or number or tradition they use in order to bring them luck. Why? While adults are willing to give up on their Santa Claus, their Easter Bunny, their Tooth Fairy and their Fraggles Living In Their Basement (and by ‘adults,’ I mean, well, ‘me’), these same adults still hold on to their throwing salt over their shoulder, their blowing on the dice, their wishing on a shooting star, and their numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42.
It is truly an odd society, that is not able to realize that ‘luck’ is nothing more than faith stripped of spirituality. In fact, the entire concept of ‘believing in luck’ is a bizarre phenomenon, when considered. The following is, according to me, the ‘lucky process’:
1.) A non-particular person has an upcoming event, day, situation, or unlucky thing.
2.) This same person decides that they would like to influence the outcome of the aforementioned upcoming event, day, situation, or unlucky thing.
3.) The said person wears, obtains, uses, applies or takes a bite out of a talisman, an amulet, a random object, or a raindance-complete-with-headdress-and-shakers.
4.) Nothing happens.
5.) Instead of admitting that faith in luck is non-existent, this same person repeats steps 1 through 3, with step 4 also repeating itself exponentially.
Now I don’t necessarily believe that keeping a rabbit’s foot on one’s keychain is inherently and immorally wrong (aside from the obvious fact that there is now a rabbit in the wild somewhere with one less foot). But I do think it is dangerous when this belief and this faith in ‘luck’ crosses the line from whimsy to wishful thinking and pseudoscience. There’s nothing wrong with foolishly thinking that stepping on a crack will break one’s mother’s back; it’s quite another thing to step on a crack and then immediately calling a chiropractor in a panic.
Assuming your mother isn’t Laura Schlessinger.
Doesn’t the belief in luck remove the responsibility of the individual? We want so much to be proven correct about luck, and invest so much in convincing ourselves, that we’ll actually alter our perception of the truth. Is it more likely that we had a good day yesterday because our horoscope told us so, or is it more likely that we had a good day because, due to the Forer Effect, we convinced ourselves that we would have a good day. Our horoscope can’t possibly be written for us personally, especially when one considers that most horoscopes are written for thousands if not millions of different people. Nevertheless, we want so much to believe that the horoscope changed our day, and that the pocketed talisman helped us with the stock market, and that the four-leaf clover helped us ace that interview and that our lucky underwear helped us get laid, that in case there is a positive outcome, this clearly proves that luck works. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
At least that’s what my horoscope says.
Waiting for luck to change our destiny is as efficient and, dare I say lucky, as hoping that Guffman shows up, or that Harvey the Rabbit appears. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with keeping a talisman or an amulet because it’s fun. But to honestly believe that such an innocuous item can change the outcome of one’s destiny or even day is foolish. Being ‘Lucky’ is to be the Tanner Family’s cat on the TV series ALF. To be ‘Lucky’ is to be the main protagonist in the 2007 Newbury Medal winner The Higher Power of Lucky. To be ‘Lucky’ is to be the former Chihuahua of Britney Spears. To be ‘Lucky’ is to be a fashion magazine published by Conde Nest Publications. To be ‘Lucky’ is to be a village in Slovakia. To be ‘Lucky’ is not however, to have the outcome of one’s game or interview or test or day or life change, simply because of some trivial ritual or object.
I think Samuel Goldwyn said it best when he said, “The harder I work, the luckier I get.”
A quote that I’ve written on a napkin, and wear inside my left shoe everyday.
Just in case.
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